Chapter 24
May 16, 2021
It's been a month since my last update here. It's not because nothing happened. It's because too much unstable waves of ups and downs have occurred.
1) On the day of suffering from worst migraine/side-effects from vaccine in my life, I found out I lost my chance of running Davidsbündlertänze in concert twice at Dresden, after having the hope that it would just be postponed to June rather than be moved for half a year. Stress cried when I got this news.
2) Due to a syntax issue, I falsely celebrated for an hour, thinking I had a record deal.
Embarrassing, as I was freaking out and being congratulated by people I was in the room with upon reading this misleading message.
3) [more uncertainty regarding Schumann album...]
[...]
The fear & thought that I'd be needing to debut with a different program made me so distraught...
It's times like these that show one what their values are.
Schumann is so much a part of my existence that it is nearly impossible to write [why I want to do this Schumann album so badly] The more I read his Davidites discussions about music, the more I realize how much I align with Florestan's critique of philistinism, the uneducated (though not their fault) sensationalized attitude towards music.
[...]
Modern society, short attention span culture perpetuated by social media clickbaits, sensationalism, the obsession to be on trend, to fit consumption of classical music into this state, which was not prepared to understand classical music, a tautologically long form art.
Why must we reduce classical music into bite-sized formats? Because no one would listen in its original, expansive nature?
The potential greater exposure at the price of integrity to the music?
Should we ``kill" Schumann because it would take additional efforts to educate people who Schumann is and deprive the world of his beautiful music just because he is less known than, say, Mozart or Beethoven?
Whose fault & responsibility is it to carry on this tradition & give equal voice to these composers, if not the musicians?
I cannot let Schumann album go.
It's my responsibility.
I owe this to Schumann.
He embodies my ambition & philosophy.
[...]
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